The Mentor Mom

What Do Teens Really Worry About?

Anyone who has or has in the past had teens living in their home know how difficult it can be.  Although my kids have not yet hit that age, I have a little experience thanks to our niece who lived with us for a brief period during her tumultuous teen years.

As a CPS worker, many of the cases that I investigated involved 'out of control' teenagers.  I always thought teens got a bad rap.  Yeah, they do things that we don't agree with or understand, can be mouthy and disruptive, but I always felt and still do that raising teens requires parents to add some specialized tools to their parenting toolbox. 

One of the most important things that parents can do is to foster ongoing communication with their teen.  As parents, we know what awaits our kids in the real world.  As former teens, we know what teens worry about -- or do we?  Enter Vanessa Van Petten.  Vanessa is an author, entrepreneur and life trainer for teens.  Her website, Teens Today with Vanessa Van Petten,  offers a wealth of information for those who are trying to understand their teen. 

All parents should check out her post What do teens today really worry about?  The top 5 issues revealed.  While the list may not shock some, consider what kinds of things would have made your top five as a teen.  Consider also that all of these areas of concern hold big price tags.  By that I mean that poor choices in these areas can have devastating effects on their future.  So, be sure to check out the links on her post as they focus on ways to encourage and foster communication.  Good stuff.   Enough said.
 

Great new blog for the non elementary aged...

I've got to give a shout out to a new site out there in the blogosphere.  It is Mid-Century Modern Moms.  Finally, a blog that isn't about diapers, bottles and potty training!  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy those blogs and have many of them in my fav file.  However, as someone who cruises the net regularly, I have not come across many that are geared towards parents with tweens and teenagers.  That is until now! 

Written by a bunch of witty and wise women, I have been bitten by the MCMM bug.  I will be frequenting their site regularly especially since Thing One (sniff, sniff) is turning TEN on Tuesday!  God, where has the time gone!  Lord help me, how can it be that I have a kid in the double digits?!  Next thing you know he'll be driving a car and starting college and then...STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!  Ahem, anyhow, please go check out their site if you are looking for insights and keen observations on teen behavior -- or if you just want a good chuckle.

Learning Tip 4: Take a deep breathe

Continuing our series on tips to enhance optimal learning, the next is as clear as the nose on your face.  Sorry, being witty is obviously not my forte.  Learning tip number for is to take some deep breaths. 

Most of us grown ups have been told at some point in time to take deep breathes when we are upset as a way to calm down.  Have you ever wondered why?  What is it about deep breathing that calms us down and how can that enhance learning?  Lucky for me, someone else has done a great job of listing the benefits of this.  Check out the whys and hows of deep breathing here.

So how can we use this with our kids?  In the preschool classroom, we often have the kids practice some deep breathing with us, particularly when they are inattentive, fidgety, etc.  But how, you may be asking, do you teach deep breathing to very young children?  We use lots of visual cues.  For example, when we are breathing in we keep our finger on our nose while we as staff count to four slowly.  When we breathe out, we take our flat palm, place it on our mouth and move it away as we blow out the air for four counts.  We will repeat the process about three of four times.  It is amazing how quickly the kids picked up on this!

So, the next time your kids sit down to do their homework or if they get stuck on a question, have them do some deep breathing then let them resume the task.  If they are successful and able to move past the problem or question that got them stuck, point it out later.  Help them to see that this is a technique that they can use while taking a test or exam or to prepare before a presentation or performance in front of the class.  You are giving them yet one more tool to put in the coping skills toolbox!

Do your kids know about deep breathing?  Have you done this with your family?  Post your observations!

Movie Review: Horton Hears a Who

After a very long week of sniffly noses, low grade temperatures and hacking coughs, the people that live in my house were well enough to go out to a movie this past Saturday.  The movie of choice was, of course, the recently released Horton Hears a Who featuring the vocal talents of Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, and Carol Burnett.  Okay, with a cast of greats like that, how can you go wrong?  Well, in my humble opinion, you can't! 

I gotta tell ya, we had a good time!  The kids were laughing out loud through most of the movie and my husband and I found ourselves chuckling out loud here and there as well.  The movie is, of course, based on the classic book of the same name by Theodor Geisel (aka, Dr. Seuss) -- a favorite of both my husband and I.  Perhaps that was why we enjoyed it so much.  Maybe it was the awe inspiring visual affects.  Perhaps it was positive messages about making a difference and everyone being important no matter their size.  Or maybe it was all of the above combined with the fact that we didn't have to worry about sexual innuendo, crude jokes or cuss words. 

I know the movie has gotten some mixed reviews amongst the media.  If you are looking for adult humor hidden in a story for kids ala Shrek, this isn't the movie for you.  If you are looking for a completely family friendly story that displays warmth, empathy and kindness, you will enjoy this one.  So without further ado, here's the breakdown:

Violence:  None that I can recall. 

Sexual Innuendo:  None that I can recall.

Strong Language/Crudeness:  Finally, a movie without any swearing!  The only crude line had to do with farting butterflies (my kids FAVORITE line from the movie, of course).

Creepy Factor:  No creepiness here.

Scary Images:  The only potentially scary image might be the vulture hired by the Kangaroo to get the clover from Horton.  While he has a menacing appearance, he is more buffoon than villain.

Final Tally:  Horton Hears a Who got a solid 3.5 stars across the board from the entire Mentor Mom family.  It is refreshing to finally be able to see a G rated movie!  We fell in love with the characters, loved the imagery and enjoyed every minute of the film.  This film can best be described in one word:  sweet. 

Did you see the film?  What did you and your family think?  Post your reviews!

Learning Tip Number 3: Get up and move!

Back to the learning tips (finally!).  Thank you all for your patience while me and the kiddos recover from this nasty virus.  We are not quite at 100%, but are feeling MUCH better :)

Okay, so regular readers won't be surprised to hear from me that the next learning tip is to get the kids up and moving!  Many parents are surprised by this one for some reason.  There are a couple of reasons why movement is beneficial to learning:

• When we exercise, the body releases endorphins which are natural chemicals that help relieve stress and make us feel good.
• Exercise increases blood flow to the brain which in turn helps with cognition.
• Physical exercise prompts new brain cells to multiply, strengthens their connections and protects them from harm.

I can't stress enough how helpful getting our kids up and moving can help them do better at school and learning activities.  Why then do so many schools limit recess!!  This is one of my major complaints about the school system.  Of course as a public school employee myself, I understand why physical education and recess end up so low on the totem pole (thank you very much no child left behind).  Despite this, however, we need to advocate for our children to ensure that they have regular periods of physical activity throughout the day. 

Okay, I'll get off my soap box on this one as I feel that I may be preaching to the choir here (yes, that is a compliment to all of you my well informed and knowledgeable readers!).  So, how can you make movement work for your kid?  Here are some tips:

• Try to get them outside or involved in some sort of physical activity at least twice a day, e.g., once in the morning, once in the afternoon/evening.  I know this can be hard to do during the winter months, so take advantage of those play areas at the mall.  Or, many gymnastics studios offer an open gym period where for a small fee your child can run, jump and work all those wiggles out for an hour. 
• Get them moving before periods where they are going to need to concentrate, e.g., get them out running around the yard or riding their bikes for fifteen minutes or so before they sit down to do their homework. 
• Incorporate some movement before your wind down process in the evening, e.g., get them out doing something physical for as long as possible after dinner.  It's amazing what fresh air does for their ability to sleep well ;)
• If you are trying to do a sit down activity such as reading a book and they have the wiggles, get them marching, crawling, jumping, rolling for ten minutes or so.  It is a great way to work those wiggles out and enhance their ability to concentrate.
• There are even some who believe that physical activity can help hyperactivity.  You can read more about that here.

We regularly use physical movement with the kids in the classroom.  If it is too cold to go out, we take them down to the gym.  In particular, we try to get them moving before any circle time activities.  It is amazing how much easier it is to maintain their attention and focus after running in the gym!

If you are looking for some good resources on the benefits of movement and learning, check out Smart Moves and Brain Gym. They are both excellent resources!  What about you?  Do your kids get regular physical activity?  Have you noticed an improvement in their concentration, focus and mood after getting some exercise?  Post your thoughts and observations!

Boxing Ban...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, this isn't a learning tip.  I promise I'll finish that series up soon.  You'll have to forgive me for being absent as of late, but our household has been on lock down due to a very nasty virus that literally put me out of commission for three days.  While my body is recovering, my brain has not yet cleared from the Nyquil induced haze.

Of course, the kids were sick as well.  While flitting from one room to the next administering the appropriate cocktail of Children's Motrin, motherly love and necessary fluids, I nearly broke my neck tripping over a guitar on the floor in my son's room.  That's what started it, i.e., the need for order.  While his room appeared orderly on the surface, upon closer inspection I made an horrific discovery -- my son is a hoarder (insert blood curdling scream here)! 

Before I go on, let me add that we just invested a large amount of money at IKEA purchasing bookshelves, a desk and a multitude of storage bins and containers.  The bins that were once organized by category were now filled with God knows what.  So, the organizational system was set up, but there was some serious lack of follow through on the boy's part.  His solution to cleaning his room?  Secretly keep every box that is up for grabs in the house and jam them in every nook and cranny of his room. 

Needless to say, we dumped every box, bin, and drawer into the middle of the room and started pitching.  I cannot believe the stuff he was keeping, e.g., pieces of paper with one little scribble on it, cut out bookmarks from cereal boxes, toys that hadn't worked in months.  The finally tally when the process was all said and done: 

• Three bags of trash
• Removal of nine boxes of varying sizes
• At least four reams of paper
• A kid who can actually see the top of his desk

I'm not sure I have a point here.  Maybe I feel compelled to write about this because I fear that my son is going to grow up to be a future cast member of Clean Sweep.  Maybe it is because of my years of going into cluttered homes as a CPS worker and seeing how overwhelmed those folks were.  Maybe it is that sometimes the best way to teach our kids about organization is to work along side them during the process.  For know, I think I'll continue to focus my efforts on collaboration in this process rather than expecting him to just do it the way I think he should know how to do it...er, you know what I mean.  At this point, however, I think we will just start with a temporary ban on boxes for one young lad in our household.

How do you keep your kids rooms clutter free?  Do they do it on their own or do you work in collaboration?  Help!  I need YOUR tips!