Reader Question: Help for sleepless nights!

I just stumbled upon your blog and I love it. I have a son who is 2 years and 8 months and is a terrible sleeper. He goes through his bedtime routine and goes to sleep no problem the trouble is he wakes up at least twice in the night, lately it is to demand a change even though he doesn’t care how dirty he is during the day. We have a 5 month old as well, who wakes to feed at least 3 times as well so needless to say both my husband and I are exhausted. I don’t think his waking has anything to do with our daughter as they wake at separate times and he has been waking his entire life. Any suggestions on how to change this tiresome behaviour?  Thank you  -- A

Sleepless nights are the worst!  Before delving into your situation, I would refer you to this post that I did on the subject of sleep.  It contains some excellent links to outside resources including tips sheets to encourage healthy sleep patterns and information on common sleep disturbances in young children.

Having said all that, it sounds like you guys have already established a bedtime routine.  These types of questions are always a little challenging to answer as I don't know what things you have tried and what things you are currently doing.  Here are some thoughts that popped into my mind:

• I know that you said this has been going on since birth.  Given his age, I am wondering if the current problems may be related to teething?  You might want to check that out.
• Ruling out teething, I would explore eliminating or reducing any daytime nap periods that he may have.  Some kids just don't require as much sleep and that extra sleep during the day may be interfering with his ability too achieve deep sleep at night.
• Are he and the baby in the same room?  Although he has been waking since birth, hearing you guys getting up to feed her may be exacerbating the problem.  It may be time for him too have his own room if this is the case.
• How are you responding to him when he wakes?  You may be inadvertently reinforcing the behavior if you are giving attention to it.  Of course, you want to respond if you think he is hurt or in pain, etc.  Having said this, however, you want to try to extinguish your contact with him when he wakes so there is no "payoff" for his waking.  I know this may seem harsh, but one of the most effective ways to extinguish a behavior is to ignore it.  You know your child best and whether this is an appropriate method to try.
• Try to incorporate some sensory activities into your nightly routine, e.g., lots of outdoor play after dinner, play dough, a rice box, etc., before starting your bedtime routine.  If you haven't already done so, incorporate some deep tissue massage into your routine.  Be sure that you put him to bed when he is still slightly awake.
• Discuss your concerns with your pediatrician.  A pediatric sleep study might be warranted. 

I hope this information helps!  I know there are lots of readers out there who have struggled with sleepless nights (what parent hasn't!).  Do any of you have any suggestions for this reader?  Please share your tips and suggestions!

 

Comments

[Daisy]

These are great suggestions. We had sleep issues with my second child (night terrors!) and it was so nice when it was over. You'll really appreciate the sleep when you get it at last.

[pickel]

We have many sleep issues with our son; night terrors, getting to sleep, staying asleep, waking early, etc.

Staying asleep is the hardest part and with him is often attributed to his hypoglycemia. We make sure that he has a high protein snack before bed and limit drinks.

great ideas about the sensory activities...anything with heavy work is great and really gets the energy out.

[The Mentor Mom]

Thanks for sharing your experience with childhood sleep problems, Pickel! You don't hear much about the possibility that the disturbance could be caused by a medical condition such as hypoglycemia.