Babying Our Babies

Do you find that you treat your youngest child differently?  By that I mean, do you have different expectations for them than you did for your other children when they were at that age? 

For example, I find that I am still doing things for my five year old that I had stopped doing for my son at a much earlier age.   Is it about her ability to do these things?  No.  It isn't an issue with her, it is an issue with me.

Many parents, particularly moms, fall into the trap of doing more for their youngest child than they did for the others.  So why would one do this?  Maybe it just seems easier to do it for them or perhaps it makes us feel good to do it.

Perhaps it is an unconscious desire to feel needed.  That seems a little bizarre doesn't it?  I mean most of us want our kids to be more independent as it usually makes our lives easier.  So why do we sabotage by doing things like making their bed, laying out their clothes, etc.

Maybe it's fear.  Fear of the unknown.  As our children gain skills and become more independent, our role as a parent changes and change can be scary!  During the early years, our role as nurturer was quite clear.  It is our job to give hugs, kisses, and kiss the boo-boos.  We love doting on our sick kids, snuggling with them in our laps or curling up on the couch. 

But our role as nurturer starts to change as our kids get older.  Don't get me wrong.  Our kids will always need nurturing, it's just that the way we nurture starts to change.  For example, an elementary age child might not want you to hug or kiss him goodbye at drop off in the morning.  They may find this embarrassing.  And from a physical standpoint, they are getting big!  Snuggling gets a little bit more difficult as our kids grow.  Wasn't it easier when we could hold them on our laps?!

So what's my point?  The goal of todays post is to get you thinking.  Do you baby your baby?  If so, do you have any thoughts on why?  Please post your responses.  Next time we will talk about some of the outcomes for our kids when we engage in this behavior.  Until then!