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mother of twins

Wow, I feel so much better now that I read your posts. I have 2 1/2 year old twins and they're driving me crazy. I burned out I can't handle them anymore. They're constantly fighting, screaming, crying, whining, demanding things, throwing and spilling food, hitting, running away from me, you name it, I've been through it all. and yes I can't help but lose my temper, there are days when I try to be calm and try to deal with them patiently but after a day or two I just lose it again.
Like someone just said, I am constantly with them, I don't feel like being around them anymore. I want to wake up when I want to, sleep when I want, do whatever I want without them bugging me and demanding one thing after the other.
I want them to be happy and I want to be happy, I try to schedule activities and outings, but they usually end up misbehaving that I cancel all my plans.
I don't know how to end this cycle.

MEL

WOW. at the end of my rope with my 2 year old. i also have a 8 year old, who gets on my nerves by doesnt make me go crazy like my daughter. i feel like i have multiple personalities....and when shes being bad, a totaly different person emerges. she had colic from time she was 2 weeks to 8 months, and literally cried almost all of the time. it was exhausting. i thought i was going to loose my mind. after the colic went away, she was a toddler, and i hate to say it, but i honestly believe sometimes that my daughter is the biggest brat in the world. isnt that awful? everything is so dramatic and she has to scream and hit me about everything. i hate the way i feel after i yell at her. i dont know how to stop myself from getting so upset. i just want some peace and quiet!!!! i just hate beomg a mom right now.

amanda

hi you cannot understand how much it means to know that there are people who feel the same out there as me. at times i have nothing left and i dont know what to do. i am a born screamer and i hate doing it and i dont know how to change it but when my son does something i dont like, he freaks and screams and kicks and punches. i keep on telling myself he is only 2 1.2 but he is at the level of a a 3-4 year old. and as sad as i thought, i fee llike i do favor my other son, because he is so laid back and happy but i keep telling myself he is only 7 months. btu he is so different and i can imagine having to go through it again. at times he makes me want to go back to work cause even when i blare the music when finally he is in his room, volume 89 isnt even good enough..

amanda

wow after reading other peoples blog they sound like me which makes me happy. honestly sometimes ive told my husband no wonder some parents walk away and never come back. there are times where i feel so much like walking away and im not religious but i keep on saying i wouldnt have what i cant handle but sometimes yeah i feel like locking mytwo year old in his room too.

when i yell and put him in his room, after a while i feel like a bad mom, and questioned if i should have ever been a mom. i love my kids with all my heart but at times i cant take it. i will sit on the couch, after my two year old has waken my 7 month old from his nap, and i just sit there while he is in his room screaming, with my knees to my head and my fingers in my hears just to have a moment of sanity and try to put myself together.

its amazing to hear similar examples. these people sound like they are tlaking to me about my kids

Mary

My son has been a nightmare from day one. He is 3 now. Every month in the beginning, I thought it would get better...just hold on to next month...next year. He wants nothing to do with me as much as I try to show him love. I'm truly beginning to dislike him, even dare I say it hate him. I would never hurt him don't get me wrong. But I want nothing to do with him anymore. I'm tired, of him, of life, just so very tired.

mom@witsend

Wow, I typed in can't stand my child and found this site too. I felt horrible just like every other mom feeling this way. Actually if we didn't feel bad I think that is when we should worry. Seems like most of the blogs are with moms with boys. They can be the sweetest and bring out the best but the worst too. I love my son to death but he makes me want to rip my hair out and smack him. Everything is like pulling teeth with him, actually that sounds more pleasant than dealing with him. I am at a point where I just don't care, I do but I don't if that makes any sense. Eating is a chore, homework is awful, and any frickin time I want him to do something he ignores me. Even better I have to tell him to do something over and over and over....again. It is so draining, phisically, mentally, and emotionally. Plus now, I have a 4 month old daughter who I love to pieces. I find myself saying she needs quiet time just so he goes away. He loves me so much and I don't want to lose that or how he says he loves me so much. He kisses me and tells me how beautiful I am and it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Then I feel like a big piece of dog doo. I don't doubt that we are all stressed out, kids are hard and being a mom is the hardest especially with more than one. That isn't even mentioning money, the economy, having to deal with husbands and their little annoying things, heck those are bad enough. Then you have a little person wanting everything, at all times from you or trying to do it their way to become their own person and share the same living area as you in a house that we as women have to clean up. Then they want bought this and that and are demanding. I don't like mushrooms, can't we have mac n cheese again, yeah let me cook 4 meals, that is fun! Uhhhhh!

Shantel

I have two sons ages 3 and 4. My first son was a cake walk as a baby. He is still so well behaved that all my friends brag on him, and they have children of their own. My younger son on the other hand is a terror. He is so needy. At this moment he is screaming head off for me to come lay down with him. He can cry/scream for hours. I just want to pull my hair out most days. I am at the point that I just don't know what to do. He is driving me crazy!!!

Michelle

Thank you so much for your post and all of you for your comments. I have had the WORST week with my almost 4 year old. I just can't stand him right now! I was drowning in guilt until I read this post and realized that I am not alone. I am a stay at home mother of two very stubborn, strong-willed boys with a husband who travels all of the time and when he's here things aren't so great either. I think if I could get a break once in awhile and have some time by myself maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. Of course I love my kids and would die for them but there are just days when I don't "like" them. Being a mother is just so hard.

Mel

Glad to know I'm not alone. My son, 6, was adopted. He seemed so good, cute & happy as a baby that I could almost overlook that his biological mother had mental illness. Well, now he's in kindergarten and, more often than not, he's on red on his behavior chart for making noises, throwing crayons, not doing his work, etc. I'm so sick of working all day & coming home to find out about his latest stupid stunt. We've gone to counseling, he's on medication & has a 504 plan. I just hope things improve next year, or I'm not sure I can stand living with him for the next twelve years..

k

I am so glad I am not the only one... I am seriously losing my freaking mind!
I have 3 daughters. 14, and 3yo twins. They all have very strong personalities and unfortunatly, they clash with mine.
My 14yo is a very intelligent, good moraled girl. She loves God and has a big heart. She is a great helper with the twins...however, I just can't stand her. =( She forgets everything and seems to have a hard time thinking for herself. She gets very sassy and does that whole eye roll thing when she doesn't like what I say.
The twins are a blessing. They are in love with me and want me around all the time. They are also needy, whiney, bossy, loud and messy. They don't listen, they fight and they drive me up the wall! It takes all I have not to smack the s**t out of each one of them everyday. I feel like I hate them.
I have a great husband, but he bugs me too. I seriously want to fly the coop. The chaos in house makes my head spin. I just want to run away screaming.
Is it me? Maybe I need meds or something? HELP!!!

PullnMyhairout

My daughter is 8. She lies about everything that she does. She cant keep her lil hands off of my things no matter how many times i say it. She makes me think something is really wrong with her brain although i know it cant be! I dont know what to do anymore. To make it worse, I am a single mom. Oh my Lord. I love her endlessly but sometimes I have to ask the question, why did i do it?

stefanie

I also googled I cant stand my 5 year old. it make me so unhappy and sad and guilty. she whines, cries and the drop of a hat, is mean to her sister and cousin, doesn't listen to a word I say and to top it off, she won't go to bed without some sort of fight. I just don't know what to do anymore. i don't want to hug her, or cuddle or hang out with her at all. i don't know who I can talk to about it. I tried my mom and she told me to hit her with a wooden spoon. Not much help there. Any help from you ladies??

Tricia

I can't believe that I googled I can't stand my kids. I have three boys ages 13, 4 and 2. My 4 year old is so arguementative, strong willed, tells me "NO!" constantly. He is difficult with everything we do. I can't take it anymore. I just want some peace. I find myself yelling constantly. I don't spank or hit, but I am so angry at his behavior I just want to quit.

ronnie

Wow - it is sooo good not be along! I have 3 girls - 10,7 & 10 month baby. My 2 big one are constantly fighting all the time on everything. I got to the point that I am ready to go. I can't stand being around them anymore I feel they made my life miserable and I just don't want to be there.
My only comfort is my baby, and when she smile that what keep me going. I know their behavior is not to upset me but I feel that the fun of raising them is not their any more and my guilt is growing every day - knowing I want to spent my time and love with my baby and not with them. Is there any advise how to handle thous feeling and how to have more patience to deal with the girls?

Amber

Wow! I am so glad to have found this blog. Ever since my daughter turned two (6 months ago), I have been struggling with her so much. She is soooo annoying and obnoxious and I feel like everything is a constant struggle. I lose my cool with her so much and will start to yell and then put her in her room so I can go chill out and I feel so bad. I go and apologize to her but I just want to be a perfect mom. I'm glad that other people on this blog have said they've yelled at their kids before. It seems like all the moms out here where I live are perfect. Thanks for doing this blog! It has really helped me see that I'm not alone and that I don't have to be perfect- I just have to keep trying. Thank-you

S.Athena

Obviously ,Im not the only one. Honestly, I cant stand my older son! I have a 9yr old and a 7yr old. My 9 yr old, soon to be 10....throws a tantrum over EVERYTHING! From waking up, to brushing his teeth, getting to school, doing his homework, eating,picking up toys, bothering his brother, watching TV, till the moment he goes to bed....What time, where he sleeps etc. Every year at school he is practically the teachers "problem child". He lies about everything and trying to punish him for any of the above is a nightmare! I despise him and I cant stand being around him. He causes arguments in my house, between him and I, his grandmother and somehow has me and his grandmother (my mother) fighting...all because of him and the way he is, what he does and doesnt do. I dont know what to do, he is making this entire household miserable. And my younger son is suffering because of it, and I feel like his happiness and right to be raised in a loving home is being taken away from him...because of his brother. I dont know what to do!!!!

stacey

is it wrong that i hate my daughter? i can just about stand to be in the same room as her, she tells me she hates me, shouts at me, screams at me, hits me, tells me she doesnt want to live with me, that i'm horrid, disgustin, she even gets the phone to phone her gran and tells her to come and pick her up and that she wants to live with her, goin shoppin is a no no she runs away from the pushchair (my son 4months), she tells me i'm not aloud to play with her, she doesnt want to go to school, fasten her coat, the only time she is nice to me is christmas or her birthday cos she knows she'll get toys. i feel like cryin and jumping off the nearest bridge i just really cant take anymore from her. someone help me

Leeo

How about this: I love my daughter, but have become very tired of her periodic episodes of disrespect. She's 16, I have impressed upon her (successfully) that working hard in school will bring great rewards. I didn't work very hard and truly regret it. She is highly recognized for her academic achievements. When I go to see her at athletic events, she ignores me and can sometimes be rude. When we go on a family event that she doesn't like, she pouts, complains and even cries. Imagine a 16 year old lying on the bench at a water park crying because we've chosen to go somewhere that her two younger siblings wanted. These things only happen in her father's absence. When dad is around, she holds his hand, and starting when she reached about 6th grade, they walk ahead, hand in hand, while I tend the other children. Finally at her age of 14 or 15, I put my foot down and told dad, you're with the mom, and these are our children. He made an effort to stick to this, and it's better. There is still an aura of Mom is not nice to oldest daughter - "daughter would be nicer if you wouldn't speak so sharply to her." She pretty much gets anything she wants, does anything she wants, but is wise enough that she's not getting in trouble. Is it too much to ask that she be nice? I've cancelled our latest vacation because she stated repeatedly that she didn't want to go and I knew she would make it a miserable experience for me. Am I too selfish? What am I doing wrong?

shannon

My son has aspergers and my husband travels all week. No family within 500 miles. I am about to go insane. I literally cannot stand to be around my son and all the chaos that he creates, and I cant even get a walk or a five minute break until the weekend, and then I have to spend the weekend doing the housework and fixing my husband and my sons problems. I think I am going to cause myself a stroke. I am so stressed!

Julie

I have a son that I cannot stand to be around when he comes to visit me.... I know it sounds bad- he doesn't even live with me! He used to- I raised him on my own until he was 5, but even then we never really had that mother/child bond and I never realized that until I recently had another baby and I am so much more attached to her than I ever was to my son. Anyway, when he was 5 I lost my job and my apartment and asked my ex-mother in law to take him for a little while until I got back on my feet. When I got everything in order about 6 months later she had filed for custody of him and to this day our case is still pending a decision in court in another state, therefore my child has to stay in that state. I don't even feel like he is my kid anymore- he's rude, nothing is good enough, he doesn't respect any of my belongings and complains about everything under the sun he has also become very materialistic. It's like having someone else's kid in my house. I have explained what happend and that I did not just leave him with him grandmother. I explained that I have and am trying to get him back, but everytime he's here I have to hear about all of the people he's been around for the last four years who I can't stand the thought of because they are two faced, lying, manipulative people!
Now I know he's been put through a lot and I always tell myself that when I start getting annoyed and upset but it doesn't change the fact that sometimes I feel like telling him I don't want him to come for the summer or christmas.
I only knew his father for 3 months before getting married so of course it didn't work out once I really got to know him and he has his fathers personality, manorisms, talks and acts just like him and I CAN'T STAND IT! Sometimes I am disgusted by the sight of him or sound of his voice. I feel terrible for saying that and feeling that way. I need some advice.

KJT

I definately needed to read this right now. I am at the end of my rope with my four year old. He is extremely demanding and needy. I find my self not able the enjoy being around my 2 year old and 10 month old because he is so demanding. When he is around we are all on edge. He screams in my 2 year old's face and drags my daugther around by her arm. No matter how many times he is told not to, sent to his room or spanked he continues to do these things. I don't know what to do. I love him but can't seem to regroup and get back on track with this kid. Thank goodness I am not the only one having these issues.

annonymouse

My lord. im just like wow i cant believe all these moms out there are suffering like myself.

my son who is almost 6 has basically shattered my confidence as a parent.

my husband and i had a very volatile relationship while he was young. so he is very aggressive. aside from that, add to the mix being strong willed.

i had a hard birth with him, he was a colicky baby. for about 3 years, when i lived closed to family who like to spoil kids, i thought 'loving and giving in and constantly entertaining' were the only way to raise kids.

Ofcousre i didnt actually do that in real life with him and i think things were pretty haphazard at some level. There was a certain level of stability though in his life. playdates/park/playgroups etc.

Anyway, now i have a 2 year old girl and she is so easy to be around and now thank goodness our home life is quite peaceful now except for us son.

every frigging thing is a fight. he's extremely attention demanding. the spot light has to be constantly on him.

most times as soon as his dad will walk in the room and sit and chat/talk to me about something, he will start to get 'loud' and start singing very loudly so that we can get busy correcting him to keep it down.

he can be very sweet,curious, assertive, intelligent, keen in learning something new, polite, well mannered, but he has a side of him thats just ridiculously annoying.

sometimes i literaly wish he'd somehow go away so we can have a peaceful life.

he drives me to maddness, arguing about minute things. he is very defiant. and drives us to extreme reactions which we arent proud of, like yanking him out of the car today, etc.

i feel like lately we're just speak to him in a raised voice (not quite shouting) and i feel like im already defensive before he starts talking.

i dont want to hug him, or kiss him. he's just sucking hte life out of me.

Samantha

Ok so I have a 32 month old and a 13 month old, I have heard that when they are little and so close in age life is very challenging but later wonderful. My question is, what if I don't make it to the later? Mainly my problem is with the oldest but lately even my sweet tempered little on is getting on my nerves. So the oldest has pretty much been pushy and demanding since the first night I brought her home and my husband and I where met with the most rude awakening that life with an infant was no walk in the park. She is a very bright child and came by everything early, crawled at six months, walking by nine, she even now speaks so clearly you can speak with her all day as if she were a peer. But with this has come much frustration on her part and mine. She is much farther ahead in alot of ways but emotionally still just a two and half year old, so life is constantly letting her down. She has a specially way of turning anthing you do into a negative situation. I have to mentally prepare myself in the morning to not let her bring me down to and to approach her with kindness and patience. I even find it hard sometimes to comfort her when she is hurt or upset because her cry is more like an ear piercing schreech and it makes me tense. I try to provide her with alot of decision making so she feels like she has control over her life but its almost like it makes her too confident and then she feels like she calls the shots for everyone and everything. If I try to buckle down on her I hit a brick wall and usually end up in tears by the end of the day. She gets sent to bed with no story or something similar and we are both upset...It sucks!!! I don't know how to deal with her. I know that she is alot like me and my mother and I fought the same way. I don't want to go down that same path. I just don't know what else to do...I read a ton of material I have tried positive reinforcement, negetive, time outs, taking toys away,distraction, she just catches wind of it and finds away to make it null. Again i stress she is a highly intelligent child, I say this without boasting because I almost with she weren't and I could just have a happy and average kids who likes to play with toys :( I feel like she is starting to project her negetivity into her younger sister which makes life even more frustrating. On top of all this any help I might have to take a brake just makes life worse because they just cater to my oldest every whim and let her take the lead in all things and constantly tell her how amazing she is and praise her for the smallest thing, things she had been doing for almost two years now...I am returned to a child who already has an ernormous ego to a child I can't even stand to look at. I find myself actually wanted to tear her self esteem down...I'm so sick of hearing about how fantastic she is. Sorry I'm totally ranting at this point. I'm very frustrated with life as a mother and I jsut wnat to enjoy my children...Both of them. :(

Deborah

I am lost. For years I have put up with a boy who is diagnosed ODD. He is now 16. My older two children have moved on but I also have a 14 year old at home. 16 has made 14's life miserable. 14 has seizures which are under control and I am homeschooling him. 16 is failing classes and now trying to make them up before Dec holidays. 16 year old just wont get up and go to school on time. 14 year old is so worn down he wont do his school work. Life revolves around trying to get them to do their school work. 16 hangs out with pot smokin buddies every day. He has a high level of THC in his system and has had for years. He goes out and gets jobs and all the money goes on pot.

Today, call him as usual (bought him an atomic alarm clock which he just cant seem to respond to). Doesnt go to school. Says he will work at home. He has a 504 plan but goes to a huge high school. He hits a problem. He calls the tutor I have for him and I email his math teacher. The tutor doesnt answer so I call her again. She explains solution to me and I write down what she says. He shouts and yells at me because he cant understand it. I am a dumb stupid bitch because I didnt write it down good. The math teacher emails me and gives me the solution. I print it out. He is still mad at me and calls me f...ing dumb and he still doesnt understand it. Then he starts on his brother who is having a challenge with decimals. I explain the decimals to brother and leave to make lunch. I tell 14 he can have lunch when he has finished the first set of problems. When I leave to do something in the yard. I hear yelling. 14 started to get food before finishing. 16 goes nuts...14 runs out of the house. I try to find him. More yelling and telling me I am a lousy person and let 14 get away with doing nothing. I to to find 14 year old. I call school in tears....please can you take the pressure off my 16 because he is making our life hell. We have called cops many times. He is currently in trouble for driving with no licence and possession and drinking alcohol (he was within the limit for an adult). Counsellor we used during the spring and summer recommended sending him away to a residential treatment. Cant aford 60,000 a year. KS has virtually no treatment centers unless lives are in danger. I need a way out!

HER mom

i'm glad i'm not alone. i have 2 kids 4 year old son and 5 year old daughter that i can't stand. she is always talking back or commenting on what i have to say. she has been throwing these crazy out of control tantrums with screaming on top of her lungs and kicking her feet. my son although gets a little 'crazy' with the normal boy stuff is so sweet and lovable. i worry too about favoritism. i think its been slowly building since kindergarten started and she spends more time with me at home. i just finished school and don't start work for another month and every day waking up i'm fine, then i have to hear her talk or ask her to do stuff at least 3 times before she listens and i'm back to square one not wanting to be around her. i try my best to be nice and a good mom to her. i talk with her a lot, apologize for my outbursts at her, and really try to explain why i get so frustrated with her and as i'm talking with her she is already asking or demanding for something else. 'i want, mommy can i have, but i want it," i feel like she lives for those words.

It feels great to vent, i love her but as of the late i can't stand her. i just want her to shut up, and most of all leave me alone.

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