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Sabine

I just have the same feeling. I can't stand my 4.5 year old. He can be so annoying. He is fighting with his 2. 5 year old. screams when he doesn't get his way, etc. almost every night dinnertime is crazy, as he doesn't want to cooperate etc. I get angry and frustrated and scream. I know it's not the right way, but I can't keep the cool with him. He is strong willed, doesn't want to listen to us..
but he has his sweet moments, wants to cuddle, loves us, loves his brother.
I think part of the whole ordeal is our stressful life right now. construction going on, me working part time.
ahhhhh. just right now, I had to send them out with my husband because I couldn't stand the constant complaining any longer.
it's too much sometime.
my husband takes it better than I do.
any suggestions.

mandie

It really helps to read this, to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's so embarrassing. I have a 2.5 year old and a one year old. My youngest, my son, is so wonderful and happy and listens better than my 2 year old. My two year old is out of control. My husband is gone for a year and it's just me with the two kids. I can't stand to be around her anymore, she makes my life miserable. We can't go out in public because she makes me cry in front of everyone, takes her clothes off, screams, has tantrums. I feel like the worst mother. Sometimes, I regret even becoming one in the first place. I feel like I'm being bias towards my son, but he really makes my life so much happier. Then my daughter makes me not want to wake up in the morning. Even before I wake up I find cracked eggs in the carpet, she has even snipped off a huge chunk of her brother's fingers. I feel like a horrible, guilty, parent. I just need help.

K

I feel terrible for even googling what I did, but it brought me here and I'm so glad I'm not alone.

I have two children: a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old son. It's my daughter that is the problem.

She's extremely bright and does well in school. But, at home, she is abusive both physically and verbally to her younger brother and I can't stand it! He's such a sweet, gentle kid and he takes the cruel words and actions and he shouldn't have to. She's a bully, plain and simple. Her father and I have not raised her like that, so I have no clue where she gets it.

It causes arguments between her and I because I defend him, and when I do her immediate response is, "You hate me" or "You don't love me anymore" and that sparks a whole screaming argument over right and wrong. There is no reasoning with a headstrong, stubborn 6 year old.

I'm always afraid that I will show favoritism because the boy is easier to parent. And when I think about her behavior, I feel like a waste of a parent. I yell too much when it comes to her, but I only do it because patience gets me nowhere with her. My husband and I have had numerous heart to hearts about what to do. But, right now...I can't stand being around her.

claire

hi their I am 22 have a 18 month old son and a 3 week old daughter ever since I was pregnant I have not really been getting on with my son I feel like I am always talking to myself he never listens he is always crying n now he has started growling and throwing himself on the floor when I tell him off he has also started a habit of pulling his ears when I tell him off or he bites himself sometimes he even throws things when he is in a strop I just don't no what to do any more I am always shouting and if I am honest most times I wish it was just my daughter here and he wasn't sounds horrible I no but his behaviour is pushing me away from him and makes me not want to do anything with him I get on with my daughter so well I wish I could have more private time with her I just really don't no what to do or how to feel when I shout at him I end up feeling bad and then crying and then after is am back to square 1 again please help I am scared his going grow up to hate me a lot of the times his behaviour causes arguments between me and my partner and when he is at my parents every other weekend their is no arguments and I am so happy then please help

andrea

wow were do i start i need lots of help my 11 year old girl is so mean tells me to shut up tells me she hates me she is so rude help me give me someways sugestions ways i can disapline here

nelly castaneda

i have two daughters 14 and 5 year old. My 14 year old is driving me crazy! REally I cannot stand her..she demands attention, back talks, got herself expelled from school, we are constantly fighting over everything. She's boy crazy, and going into highschool this year, all she talks about is boys. My 5 year old on the other hand is so sweet, smart and quiet. I feel guilty but with my 14 year old it has always been a struggle ever since she was a baby. It's gotten so bad that she's staying with my parents (im a single mother) I couldnt take it anymore with her. Not healthy for my 5 year old either to watch mom an sister fight all the time...I dont know what to do I pray to God that this will pass soon, and she matures.

mamascott

Thank you so much for posting this. In my time of need I found this. God Bless you!

Lea

I know how it feels :-( And I'll try to work on it, because it's just so exhausting. For everybody....

K

Thank you! I just drove home after a trip to the library/ shops almost in tears with my 2.5yr son & baby which was a total nightmare... I thought to myself, am I the only horrible mother that loves, but doesn't always like, my toddlers behaviour? I felt a mixture of guilt, anger, shame and pure mortification after the librarian made me feel awful for my toddler mixing up the order of the children's books while I was waiting for the lady at the desk to find a lost item I had on hold. He never listens, especially when I really need him too and sometimes I am at a loss for what to do. He is such an amazing little boy but pushes every button I have at the worst times. He also managed to jam the door there which the icing on the cake. On arriving home, I googled my feeling of not liking my own child, expecting to find a link to the "bad mummies" of the world page, thankfully instead I found your blog. Well done for having the honesty to say what we all must sometimes feel and struggle with and bringing it into the light instead of a guilty recess in our minds :)

ugh!!!

I am soooooooooooo on the edge! i have a 1 yr old and a 2 yr old and i NEVER have any me time! when i'm at work my husband is home and when he's at work i'm home so we hardly ever see each other! the kids wake up super early, get in the bed with me and do the most irritating things to wake me up! my son (1) cries allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day! but it's a fake cry and omg i can't stand it!!! my daughter has the nastiest little attitude sometimes i really forget that she's 2. I don't even wanna be around them sometimes...i really hate my jb but sometimes i'd rather be there than with them. I kno i must sound like a horrible mother, but this is my truth! don't get me wrong i looooooe my babies and sometimes we have so much fun together, but this past week.....no bueno!

Robin

Im having a problem with my 4 year old son hitting me,wont listen cusses me and calls me bad names,we live with my mother in law and her younger son just makes things worse for me, and she wont do anything when he starts screaming and cussing around my 4 year old.

Ellen

I'm so happy I found this site. Tonight I just feel like I'm a failure at my parenting skills. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels guitly over not liking their kid. I love my daughter and wouldn't wish any harm upon her. But I just can't stand being around her anymore. She's 5 and I'd swear she can't go 30 minutes without whining/screaming about something. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her just to avoid another whining/screaming episode. She cried today just 'cause she felt out of breath from running, then she cried 'cause I didn't have water on the spot for her, and then she cried 'cause I could only offer her water from tap (she wanted bottled!), and this went on, one thing after the other, all evening. She's like this almost everyday. Yep, she's spoiled. My husband and my parents (who live downstairs) just can't say no to her. It's a battle with them too. They agree with me when I ask for their cooperation, but the minute my eldest whines, they just give in! I just end up screaming at her all the time and then I'm the bad guy for loosing it! The worst is that I adore my youngest. She's a happy kid and even in her terrible two's, she's easier to handle! I love my daughters but tonight, I find myself feeling guilty for entertaining feelings of regret over the decision to have kids. My husband and I used to be soo in love for 10 years. Now, since we've had kids, we hardly even kiss anymore and I can't remember the last time I took time for myself to just chill. Anyway, I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one feeling this way and that you understand that I still love both my girls.

Temre

As a full-time university student & single mother of two preschoolers and a teenage boy who is now in college, living at a frat-house and riding a motorcycle everyday. I appreciate your advise. There are times I just don't like my children. Looking more closely I realize I do love my children, I just don't like their behavior. I think that is an important distinction to make when discussing problems with the child. Also I think it would be very smart to have a resources link on this site for help during a crisis, child abuse prevention, and any other links to help ease the trauma that may be unfolding as they are desperately searching for help, because I was in a situation today with my 4 yr old where I just wanted her out of my house. I was at my wits end. It started with refusing to walk up stairs from the car when I had a lot of things to carry already. it escalated into her needing a timeout(really needing a nap) which she refused to take, and she started screaming and wouldn't stop for hours. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal if my manager didn't live below me and has complained about the noise before. I searched the web and found this site. I bet I am not the only one who's at the brink of maddness, and has stumbled upon this site. I was looking for somewhere to take her just to have a timeout for both of us, because I don't have any support and her behavior is extreme at times.

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