What are your priorities?

Last time, I asked the question "what would you do differently if you knew you only had six months left to live?"  It has been a while since my last post, but I wanted to give ample time for reflection and consideration both for myself and for you.  The goal of this question is to flush out what is most important to us, what our priorities are, where we want to focus our energies.

As a mom, my energy waxes and wanes.  I told someone this morning that I often feel like butter spread way too thinly on a piece of toast.  In reflecting on this question and doing some serious journaling on the matter, it is clear that I know what my priorities are and that I am not consistently expending my energy on them.  Or at least not in a manner that suits me.

So what would I change or do differently if I only had six months to live?  First, I would spend more quality time with my children.  I would cherish each moment, each discussion, each day as a precious gift.  One that can never be replaced.  I would be fully engaged with them in these moments so that at the end of the six months I didn't look back with any regrets.

Second, I would invest more energy into my marriage.  Don't get me wrong, we have a solid relationship, but we don't get much alone time.  I would make sure that this happened more regularly and move my husband waaaay up the priority list.  It often seems he gets what is left at the end of the day which is often not much.  Sorry honey.

Third, I would spend more time with my family.  I love my parents greatly, but visiting with them always seems to fall low on my priority list.  I have lots of reasons why we don't get up to see them, e.g., too tired after a long week of work, too much stuff to do around the house, don't feel like driving that far, etc.  All cop outs.  They are getting older and I know my time with them is limited.  I need to be with them more often and so do my kids.

Fourth, I would spend more time doing things that bring me joy.  It seems that all the things that bring me joy (besides my kids) have fallen way too low on the priority list.  I feel cranky and fatigued way more often than I care to.  I wonder if my kids will describe me as being happy and full of life after I have passed away.  I don't know that they would at this point.  I mean, I'm not a gloomy gus moping around the house, but I don't smile nearly as much as I would like to.  Have you ever met someone who just oozes with life?  I have and it is said to say that these folks are few and far between, at least in my experience. 

So why am I sharing all this with you?  Well, as I said last time, I am on a personal journey.  I described it as a quest to find "balance," however, in reflecting and journaling on the matter, I think for me it is a quest for happiness.  Let me define what I mean by "happiness":  Aligning my actions in life to reflect my priorities or simple said enjoying and investing in what matters most to me in a way that leaves me feeling content, fulfilled and joyful.

Now that I have clarified my priorities, it is time to look at what roadblocks I have put up that get in the way.  This is an essential step in the change process.  As Dr. Phil says, "We cannot change what we do not acknowledge."   More on this next time.

Have you written down your priorities yet?  I challenge you to join this journey with me.  What do you have to lose?   

Comments

[Mommy off the Record]

Great post. I've never written down my priorities before. I've written down goals, but they were more everyday things like start reading the newspaper, save money, etc.

If I were to write down my top two priorities they would be my family and my health. And if I need to work on something it's spending more time with my husband. I think I'll focus on that sub-priority more this week. Thanks for the post and the good advice!

Good luck with your own journey. :)

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

Good for you! I'm a goal oriented person myself which has helped me immensely in my career, however, I don't seem to do as well with my goals for me and my family. It seems so much easier to let them slide doesn't it? I'm with you on making health a priority. We won't be any good to anyone if we are not around! Better add that to my priority list :)