Taming your gremlins...

It's time to get back to task.  For those of you who are new around here, myself and some of my readers have been on a journey.  We have been working on identifying our priorities and trying to figure out if our actions are in alignment with those priorities.  I personally have a lot of tweaking to do in this area.  Newbies can go back and check out previous posts on the matter.

For those of you who have been on the journey thus far, we are going to talk about taming our gremlins today.  Our last step in this process was to identify our self imposed road blocks or energy drainers.  If you will recall, mine included watching too much television and doing housework when I should be with my kids.  Despite the fact that I am aware that these two activities interfere with my goals of spending more quality time with my kids, I still do them.  This is where my gremlins come into play.

David Ellis wrote a book some years back called "Taming Your Gremlins."  He uses the term "gremlin" to describe the self-talk or "inner dialog" (to use a Dr. Phil-ism) we use to support our behaviors.  By becoming aware of these gremlins, we can modify our behavior.  As Dr. Phil says, "We cannot change what we do not acknowledge." 

So, it is time to get the journals back out.  I want you to think about your thoughts.  What?!?  I want you to think about your thoughts.  Our thoughts drive our behavior, so we must become aware of them if we want to change them.  For example, let's say we go to Target and buy some books.  We give the cashier our money, but she gives us back an extra $20 in change.  Do we tell her?  What thoughts are going through your head at the time?  Maybe some of the following?

• Ha!  She gave me too much!  Yippee, it's like a free shopping day!
• She gave me too much.  Should I tell her?  Nah. For what they charged for this book, I deserve a break.

What will be the outcome with this kind of thinking?  That's right. This thinking would NOT likely result in giving the excess change back.  Let's look at a a different thought process given the same situation:

• Ooh.  She gave me too much back.  I wonder if I should keep it?  Nah, it would be my luck that she realize her error just as I walk away.  Then I'd look like a schmuck.
• Wow, it seems like I got too much back.  She must have made a mistake.  I have to tell her so as to make this right. 

Do you see how this drives our behavior?  OK, now that we have learned a bit about cognitive behavioral therapy, lets put our knowledge to the test.  Again, get your journal out.  Write down what thoughts are going through your head when you engage in one of your energy drainers.  Here's an example of how my thinking supports my television watching:

• I don't feel like doing anything.
• I worked hard all day.  I deserve to do nothing,
• I just want to watch television for a little bit.  I can play with the kids when the show is over. 
• I'll turn it off in a half hour (...NOT!)

So now it is your turn.  What automatic thoughts are going through your head to support your energy drainers?

Comments

[Angela]

Whoa, I never thought of supporting my energy drainers/poor habits in that way. Great post. I don't have a journal but I am finding blogging is causing me to be more mindful in some ways. However, it also easily transitions into surfing the net so it can take time away from parenting/homemaking(in the best sense of the word).

BTW, thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. I really appreciate the visits and your comments have such wisdom.

[The Mentor Mom]

Thanks for the kind words Angela...I'm blushing :)