How do I know that I'm making the right choice for my kids?

That's a pretty broad question, isn't it?  This was actually posed to me by a friend the other day.  My answer?  You don't.  It is impossible to know with 100% accuracy what the outcomes of our parenting choices will be. I should clarify that we were discussing the BIG choices, i.e., church, school, etc. 

As parents, we make choices for our children that we believe are going to be in their best interest.  Our own experiences as children often have a big impact on the choices we make.  If we grew up going to church, we are more likely to make that a part of our child's life and so on.  In some cases, we want to do the OPPOSITE of what we experienced growing up. 

So when making choices that involve our children, there are some simple questions to we can ask ourselves to help flush out the best fit:

• What are the pros and cons?
• What is the desired outcome?
• Which choice feels right?

Don't underestimate your gut feelings or intuition.  In my friend's case, it was clear in talking with her that she knew what choice she wanted to make about her situation.  She weighed out her own experiences from her own childhood and discussed the desired outcomes for her children and finally examined the pros and cons.  In the end, I think she was at peace about her decision.

Have you had similar thoughts or feelings about some of your parenting choices? 

Comments

[Angela]

I am have and still do struggle with this in the area of choosing to have one child only. People also feel the need to give input on this decision (especially grandmothers) but also totally strangers at the park. It's something that is almost impossible to know if you have right until it is all said and done.

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

That is a hard one Angela, but it really fits with this discussion. I think it is important for parents to consider, reflect and re-evaluate their choices at times, but it is equally important to trust our gut and the decisions we have made. Trusting ourselves makes us a much more confident parent!