How to Win and Argument

Ah, relationships.  I remember people telling me once I got engaged that marriage was the most difficult thing I would ever endure (these people must not have had kids yet).  I laughed, I scoffed, I thought "How bad can it be?"  Almost thirteen years later, we are thankfully still together and very, very happy.

But there were those first couple of years.  You know, when the honeymoon wears off.  When you move from saying politely, "Honey, could you please not leave your shoes in the middle of the room" to "How many times to I @*##* have to tell you to MOVE your @#*@$$ shoes!" 

It's rough in the beginning trying to figure out how this whole marriage thing is going to go.  It seemed as if I was constantly thinking "I'm not going to put up with THIS for the next 50 years!" at which point I would dig my heels in about some absolutely stupid issue.  Thankfully, over the years, we have learned to pick and choose our battles and that there are some things that you just learn to live with, like shoes in the middle of every room in the house. 

In her post The 10 Best Ways to Win an Argument, my colleague Tammy Lenski outlines some of the traps we fall into when arguing, particularly with spouses.  How we as parents resolve our conflict is a big indicator of how our children will too.  Let's remember to be good role models and fight fair.  We don't want our children to carry on a legacy of name calling and always having to be right.  Being right all the time can get pretty lonely...

Comments

[Tammy Lenski]

Thanks for linking to my site, Jill, and echoing how important this stuff is for our kids...and for ourselves. I've had a lot of people emailng me about that post--it hit some chords and got some chuckles.

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

No, thank YOU! What a great article. I'm glad to share it with others :)

[Angela]

Congrats on your marriage too. I am so glad to hear I wasn't the only one who thought to herself, how I am going to put up with this until "death do us part"? But pick this battles, how true with kids and husbands and pretty much the rest of life.

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

Thanks Angela. Hope you had a great anniversary :)

[Josie]

I'm one of those fortunate ones that says, this isn't as hard as I expected it to be. When the kids get to teenage years, I expect that might change though!