Why do the kids listen to their dad, but not me?

Last time, I discussed how women can learn from men when it comes to communication,i.e., "keep it simple, stupid."  How does this relate to fathers and how they communicate to their kids?

It is a common complaint from the moms I work with that the kids listen more to their father than them.  Why could this be?  Hmmm. Let's explore this further by the use of an example: 

Your four year old is jumping up and down on the couch.  You say:  "Joey, stop jumping on the couch.  If you keep jumping up and down you are going to fall off and get hurt, then I am going to have to take you to the emergency room to fix your broken arm.  Have you ever been to an emergency room?  It isn't a fun place.  You have to wait a long time and fill out a bunch or forms.  Anyhow, we can't afford a visit to the emergency room.  Are you listening to me?  I said STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH!"

Joey heard:  "Joey, stop blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..."  (Insert the voice of the teacher from Charlie Brown and you get the effect).

Dad says:  "Joey, get off the couch." (With a firm I mean business kind of voice.)

Joey hears:  "Joey, get of the couch."

What is the difference?  MOMS USE WAAAAY TO MANY WORDS!  Now, I am just as guilty as the rest of you for doing this and this continues to be an area for me to work on.  You see dads instinctively know to use fewer words for better results.  Most dads also have that firm tone that when their kids hear it, they know dad means business.

So to all the dads out there, keep up the good work.  For the mom's, let's learn from the men and keep it simple so we can get better results too! 

Comments

[Mommy off the Record]

This is so true. I am way to verbose. In fact, this gives me a little insight into why my husband always seems to tune me out. I'm great at expressing my feelings, but if he doesn't listen after the first 25 words, what's the point?

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

We do over-explain things sometimes don't we? I do the same thing and though I know better! Thanks for stopping by...hope the tip helps!

[Jackie]

I have to say it's the opposite in my home. My husband tends to go on and on with our daughters, and I can see them tune him out. One thing that has helped me as a mom is following through with whatever threat I throw out there. Let's say they are jumping on the couch and you threaten, "If you jump once more, no t.v. for 3 days!" You'd better follow through. Also, make any threats realistic for the situation. That is huge. Never, never threaten something that you cannot follow through on. My girls know now that if I threaten something, it's going to happen! It's not always easy to do, but believe me it pays off.

[Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom]

Sage advice from a sage parent (sage doesn't mean over the hill, right?)! Follow through is one of the areas where parents have the most difficulty, but it is among the most important. Parents who don't follow through are setting themselves up for more frustration. They can't blame their kids when they don't do what they ask because they have taught them the consequences are hit or miss. Interesting that your hubby is the one who goes on and on. Is that before or after caffiene? Thanks for the great suggestions and post chicky :)